guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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