these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
