for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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