It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
