do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
