What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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