Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
