i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
