Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
