She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
