He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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