Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
