he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
