You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
