I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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