So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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