If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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