HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
