No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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