did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
