Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
