A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
