you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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