My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
