He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
