I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
