his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
