the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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