I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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