You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
