We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
