he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
