Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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