He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
