This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
id be glad to
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
