So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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