I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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