my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We don't watch enough power rangers
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
