Where are you?
In a non slutty way
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This is my gift to your gina
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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