I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
