They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
