Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
