Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
