More tranny stories later!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i love accidental penises.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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