i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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