She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
this hospital has no fireball
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
