hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
