You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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