I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
