i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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